bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I just saw a hot homeless man
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
