White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
