dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
