My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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