I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
