How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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