Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
then he tried to convert me to islam
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
