...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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