..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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