People in love make me want to vomit
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
