God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
