weddingsv make me drug and hornr
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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