I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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