also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
