She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
