Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Randomize
