Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
The power of my boobs compel you
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
