I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Randomize
