you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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