It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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