whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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