Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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