is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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