yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
