if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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