enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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