what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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