If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
