I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
