Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
