11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
