Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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