even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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