I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He did a backflip because drugs
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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