sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
