no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
