Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
