can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I have post one night stand depression
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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