No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
