i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
