Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
