i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
