i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
