i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Everclear isn't food dammit
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
