just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
