And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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