he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
