Your face is a jimmy john
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
