you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize