Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
