who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
