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normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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