Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
He did a backflip because drugs
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
