I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
